A big fat surprise that isn't surprising at all.

Last week, I told you about being mistaken (again) for a pregnant woman.
That day, I was pretty pissed off at the unmitigated audacity of the woman who pegged me as preggers.
Today I would like to track her down and apologize for damning her to the bowels of hell (In my mind. I hardly ever damn anyone to hell out loud save for a random damning of Bill O'Reilly and the like.)

  This past weekend, my family and I headed to southern Michigan to celebrate my grandparents 60th wedding anniversary. Family gathered from across the United States to drink honor my grandparents.

I was very excited to see aunts, uncles and cousins that I haven't seen since last year. Of course, one of my uncles felt the need to capture every moment on video. I avoided the video camera as much a possible but alas could not escape it entirely. Late that night we gathered around the TV to watch the video of stuff that had JUST happened. Ugh. Why do people do this? the party. I make my appearance about 3 minutes in. There is a close up of me. I am standing in a circle of family members, telling some story. I think to myself that my hair looks pretty good for having had to wash it with BAR SOAP in the hotel shower earlier that day.

I hate seeing myself on video. See, I am denial about what I really look like. In my head, I closely resemble Salma Hayek. Maybe Salma Hayek's prettier, blue eyed sister...
In real life, my famous person tie in would probably be chubby daughter of Kathy Bates.

Anyway, as the camera pans out and full length Katie is revealed, I am shocked and appalled.


Sadly, it's me.
No! Family! Do not watch this!!
They are all going to realize I'm fat! (as if they've never seen me)

I left the room and locked myself in the bathroom where I had a nice long cry and visited a grab bag of emotions. Disgust, defiance, sadness, hopelessness and disbelief- just to name a few.  I did a lot of talking to myself in there. If those walls could talk, I would be writing this from my padded cell.
I sat there until the video was over.

The next day, we went to the Detroit Zoo.
I was determined to have a good time despite my leftover issues from the night before.
Of course, any family outing lends itself to scads of photo opportunities.
The plan was to be the one TAKING the pics- therefore not have my picture taken.
Epic fail.
Out of the 30 or so pictures that I am in, I only found one that I did not find completely embarrassing. Yesterday I posted it to my Facebook account. This morning I deleted it.
I am mortified.

When I got to work this morning,  I  called and made an appointment with a nutritionist, inquired about a gym membership, withdrew enough money from the bank to join Weight Watchers and reinstalled the 'couch to 5k app' on my phone that I deleted last week when I didn't feel like doing that anymore.

So, here are some pictures of  the REAL me. Using all kinds of sneaky methods to try to "hide" my weight.



PhotobucketI don't want to be that person anymore.

It's time for a change.

Thank you lady who though I was pregnant. Your faux pas helped set that change in motion.


  1. Oh sweetie. I'm sorry you feel so down. I'm glad that you are excited about making changes. I need to do something too, because my clothes are starting to not fit anymore and I feel SLOW. But I'm limited by my back...stationary biking is pretty much it. Not sure whether to get a gym membership or buy a bike...


  2. I started a diet and exercise plan in January 2010 and have lost 94.8 pounds (405 down to 310.2). It is hard work; do not lie to yourself by thinking otherwise.

    Even though I have lost so much, I have a long way to go. I want to get to 220. Here are some thoughts I've had while on this journey:

    Plan your meals a day ahead of time; this will keep you form cheating.

    Find an exercise you like and do it over and over again. Try all of them. I never thought I would like to run, but now I can't wait to run. I love it as much as anything.

    Turkey meat and hummus are your friends.

    Keep a food diary.

    Keep a calendar with E for exercise and D for diet. Give yourself a check when you do them. It is still as effective as getting stars in a chart in elementary school.

    Let yourself reward yourself, but plan it and don't go overboard. I give myself a reward day 3 days a month. I plan them ahead of time so when I am tempted I can say, "Not now, you can eat some good food on Saturday at the wedding."

    Exercise at least 6/7 days. It's the only way.

    In the end, it's math. If you want to lose weight, you need to burn more calories than you eat. 3500 calories equals a pound.

    Exercise and diet is the only way to go. You'll drop weight slowly and naturally and you will feel great physically and emotionally.

    I feel awesome right now, and you will soon. Good luck.

  3. Salma Hayek has got NOTHING on you. Good luck with your weight loss-you'll get there!

  4. Sometimes it's what you need to do the change you want. And, I don't know any woman that is happy with surprising images of themselves!

  5. I want to thank all of you for your wonderful comments. I'm gonna need all the help I can get.
    You guys are the best.

    Teacher Mommy, thank you. I am thinking about a treadmill. I love to walk but HATE to go outside in the winter. Too bad I don't live closer...we could walk together. ;)

    Russ- YOU'RE BACK!! It sounds like you are doing great losing weight and getting healthy. What made you do it? Thank you for all the great advice. Here I go...

    Oddyoddyo13- Thanks. I am hoping that someday, Salma Heyak writes a blog post about ME! :)

    Kristy, It was a harsh reality but I think I needed to really SEE it. And BOY did I see it!

  6. You are doing to do A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

  7. hmmm what to write...

    denial - no stop putting yourself down, I wouldn't even notice Selma if you were in the room ...

    reverse psychology (mean to be nice)- great decision, I wouldn't be able to see Selma if you were in the room.

    support - I know how you feel, I hate seeing pics of myself and constantly battle with the dreaded gym while dodging family videos

    in short - good luck, get healthy, get happy and then relax.

  8. I'm proud of you for starting this journey, but I don't think you need to - I think you're gorgeous.

  9. Oh you summed up my whole adult life. I detest having pictures taken for this exact reason. How is it that we feel so much slimmer than we appear on camera???? You can do it and you've inspired me to get my butt off the couch and join you!!

  10. Good Golly Miss Holly- Thank you! I must admit, Reading your blog has inspired me too!! I have absolutely loved reading about what you are doing to get healthy! It's great motivation to see that I am not alone.

    Glen- I very much appreciate your help. Day two. Here we go...

    Liz- Gorgeous!! Yeah baby! I knew I liked you for a reason ;) Thank you.

    Mandi- We can show up to our 15th HS reunion as TOTAL hotties!! :)

  11. Oh, honey what was the most poignant, TRUE thing I've read today. I hope you feel better now, having gotten that out. Whether you do something about the excess weight or not, you clearly are a lovely person.

    All my best,


  12. Pearl- Thank you very much for your lovely comment. Day 3 and doing well. This time just feels different than all of the rest of my tries. That must count for something, right? :)

  13. Hmmm...The only person who looks like Salma Hayek is Salma Hayek. I have looked like and alcoholic Chimp for most of my life and have survived. Pearl is right. Do the diet things but don't panic about your looks.

  14. Oh Katie... i think you look absolutely gorgeous.. all i could focus on was your smile.. it is just stunningly beautiful...

    all the best xoxo

  15. Katie you're beautiful. Thank you for coming by my page and for the lovely comment(s). I love this post. It's so me. I feel the same way about the camera, I about the mental picture I have in my head. All that. I do need to make a change tho, and soon.

  16. Well I can't admire your gorgeousness because your photos aren't loading for some reason. But since I already know how beautiful you are I will just say we are all our own worst critics, by far. Good luck on the new eating plan but remember that we love you for who you are on the inside. xx

  17. I am sorry you are feeling down Katie. Good luck with all the changing your lifestyle, if we lived closer we could definitely walk together. I keep saying I'm going to go but it's no fun alone!

  18. I'm with you in everything you wrote Katie. I am horrified when I catch sight of myself in a full length shop window and in denial that it can possibly be me. With the year I have had health wise I do need to do something and SOON so I am going to use you for motivation. Good luck to both of us huh?!

    By the way love the pics and wish we did live nearby cos I'm sure we would be friends too.



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