Showing posts with label health issues. Show all posts
Showing posts with label health issues. Show all posts

Monday

White Noise and Weeds

Photobucket

I have felt this way before.

Here it comes, strolling back into my life with no regard for my happiness. My goals. My accomplishments.
No, it whispers. It’s time. Now you will change.
You will feel like darkness. You will feel alone.
Like static.
Like white noise.

But I’m content! I reply. Happy. Now is not a good time. There is no reason for you to be here. Life is good.
It’s no use arguing. It always gets its way.

Don’t worry. It says with a smirk. Just put on a happy face and pretend nothing is wrong.
Don’t burden others with my visit.
If they know, you have failed.
It is your job to smile. To Laugh. It’s who you are.
You must give the people what they want.

It draws the shades and sits down.
Makes itself comfortable.
Pushes into my personal space.
Uses up my air.
Pleased with itself that it can change my world so quickly and thoroughly.
Pats itself on the back for being able to take me by surprise. Again.

It knows me well. Knows which buttons to push to be the most effective. Knows where my wall is shoddily built and throws stones just there.
 It does not play fair.
It makes the rules as it goes then changes them when I become familiar, or try to use them to my advantage.

We have a history together. We met in college. It hangs around. Never strays too far. Sometimes it’s within sight, but on the outskirts of my life, seemingly harmless.

 Like a weed.

 From a distance I sometimes mistake it for a flower but stepping closer reveals the truth.

Sometimes it hides in the shadows, pretending it’s not there, but thriving, even without sunshine. Fooling me. Letting me think it has withered and died - before making its confident and destructive return.
Again.
I am white noise.

Real life and Online Life Collide

So, you know how you are just going along in life...la di da - driving your kid to (and staying for the full two hours of) Wizard of Oz play practices,







searching for something that fits and isn't horrifying the perfect dress for a wedding,







 making sure your child makes it to a local festival so he can ride the rides because GOD FORBID he doesn't get to ride the gravitron at least 67 times this summer,


 cleaning your house, grocery shopping,


 figuring out a diplomatic way to divide time between your husbands family who came from across the country


and your family who also came across the country without anyone  realizing feeling like you've spent LESS time with them,

Photobucket


all the while desperately needing a nap


 because your body is screaming "A-NE-ME-IA!, A-NE-ME-IA!" and you realize that you haven't tweeted, or facebooked or blogged for almost TWO WEEKS and you kind of feel bad, but you really just miss all your bloggy friends and you decide that you need to write the world's longest run on sentence to make up for it??

You do?
 
Yeah. That's how I'm feeling too.

That's why we're friends.
You understand me.
I like that about you.

Mmmhmm. Yep. I'm talking to you. I like what you've done with your bangs, by the way. Very chic.




I've been busy in real life which is good because it gave me lots of stuff to blog about. But oh, the humanity! I have soooooo much catching up to do now here in the blogoverse.
Where to begin?  THAT is the question of the day. 
Ideas?

Saturday

My 'Strikethroughiest' Post This Week.

Photobucket
Today I will be guest posting for the lovely Rhonda at Wherever you go...there you are.


If you ever wanted to know about my marital history (and let's be honest, who doesn't? har har) you can read about it there. It's mostly about divorce, which sounds like a bad thing but...well... go read it, m'kay?

...



I thought that I had outsmarted and avoided that  total a-hole anemia Anemia that would render me mostly useless.

I did not.

I have been on a forced vacation sleeping pretty much round the clock for the last 4 or 5 days.

This being sick is totally for the birds. It's driving me absolutely crazy. I've taken some time off work so that I can relax, seeing as how just walking from the bedroom to the bathroom in the morning leaves me winded and my heart pounding. FORGET about showering and going into work.
I almost passed out in front of a customer the other day, which would have been bad healthwise alone- but was worse for me pridewise, and I do not embarrass easily.

Any who, the boss told me to stay home for a few days and "get better", but I feel like maybe having sales associates fainting in front of customers is off-putting. When I'm at Wally World buying my boxed wine and Hot Pockets, I certainly don't want RainRochelle (actual Walmart associate name) passing out in the middle of my transaction. Awkward!  And I'm  NOT just talking about her name.

Ugh. So. I'm not ignoring you, sweet blogosphere. During my coherent, non sleeping moments, I am reading blog posts that I have missed and commenting as my phone/data plan will allow (ie. not much). (ps.Screw you, AT&T.)

If you have landed here by mistake come by and left me a comment on a recent post, and I have not gotten back to you, please bear with me. Your comments are not going unnoticed. Believe me. I'm just crap at keeping up with all of it right now.

I have been trying to tweet regularly because it doesn't take a lot of energy. So, if you're having Katie withdrawal and want to hear random tweeting about Robert Pattinson's body hair or about my sink full of dishes, you can find me there.I know. Salty stuff. My little Twitter follow doovie is on the sidebar there to the left. I promise to be funny. Sometimes.

In conclusion (actually, I think use of that phrase may be against the law in the blogosphere. My bad..ooh. There's another one. Crap.) Regular programming will continue soon. SOON. Pinkie swear.

Until then, go read Alex at WHOA-MUMMA she pointed out a few posts ago that I was playing the 'period card' for comments but I wasn't. That just happened to be a bonus. I swear. She's on to me. Hey, whatever works, right?


Alrighty then. I'm going to stop now before I get myself nominated for whatever the bloggy equivalent of a Razzie award is. Too Late.
Photobucket

Thursday

From the TMI files.

First, It's FYBF. You know what THAT means. I know you do. No need to act all coy.
Link up. Go to  Mummy Time and leave Brenda a comment about how much you love her. Read her easy peasy guidelines.
That simple. You have been flogged.
                           ...

So, something weird happened, and from that, a blog post. (Kind of how blogs work, right? I know.)

My last post was a re-post of a rant I had in February. I re-posted it because I was in a bad mood and it really seemed to fit. It was a bit dated, but the tone was what was intended.


What happened that was weird was that it received no comments (crickets. NOOOOOOOO!). None. Well, none this time around.


I figure three things might cause this.
1. You had commented the first time it was published.
2. You are sick to death of my lack of quality posts and are showing it through 'comment silence'. Well played. Well played.
3. You've been abducted by aliens. In which case, you should've read this post. Ah, hindsight.

Lots of you did comment the first time.Thank you.
For those of you who didn't comment because you are currently in an alien spaceship or on an alien planet, after being abducted- I totally understand. (If the aliens are even letting you read this.)


I think however, that the real culprit here is my recent lack of quality posting.


I have a reason. I swear. A couple actually.


But... before I tell you the reasons, I would like to warn any of my male readers that we are going to delve into some women issues shortly. I wont get all detail heavy and gross you out or anything on purpose. I will be giving details as needed, though. If you're like my hubby and at the mere mention of women's topics, you get all queasy and green, this is your warning. Grab a garbage can and keep reading or stop here. Whatever works.


Ok. I assume I still have my lady readers and those of my men readers who have strong 'women issue' constitutions.

Reason for sub par posts number one. No home computer.  I have told you about this ad nauseam. Still true. I must do all my blogging before and after my shifts at work. I do most of my blog reading from my phone. Neither method is very convenient.  I have worked the budget a bit though, so...a new laptop is in my future.  (Then we may have the opposite problem. TOO much blogging. We'll cross that bridge if  when it happens.)

Reason numbers 2 & 3
I have been dealing with some health issues.


One being PCOS which is - Polycystic Ovary Syndrome which you can read more about here. Should you choose to do so.
PCOS causes a bunch of not very nice things in women of reproductive age, some being-but not limited to:
  • Infrequent or irregular periods
  • Prolonged or excessive periods
  • Excessive hair growth
  • and the worst, in my opinion, Lack of ovulation. Which is heart breaking.
  • Oh, and can cause weight gain, and make it harder to LOSE  the weight it caused you to gain. (Someone doesn't play fair. Hmm?)
Which is a real bitch.
PCOS, if I ever meet you in a dark alley, you wont make it out alive.


The other being Endometrial Hyperplasia go here to read about it.
This is basically the overgrowth of the lining of the womb, beyond the normal 5 millimeters in thickness (taken from the website), and the subsequent and excessive shedding there of. Think- normal period times about a thousand. Scary. Embarrassing. Messy. Extremely inconvenient.
This usually occurs in women entering menopause but, every once in a while it strikes the unsuspecting 30 year old already dealing with more feminine issues than you can shake a stick at. Read: Me.


It was so bad a couple of years ago  that I had to have a blood transfusion because I was so anemic I was almost dead. In pictures from that time, I look like a member of the Cullen family. Only paler.




Being anemic causes you to be very tired. All. The. Time.


Right before the transfusion, I couldn't even dress myself. I slept all day and only got out of bed to go to work. At work, EVERYTHING made my heart race. Even when I just pulled up a chair and sat at the register. I once tried carrying a UPS delivery into the store and all I could manage to do was vomit. It was horrible.


So, I went to my local walk in clinic and got a blood test then went to work.
A few hours later I received a call from a nurse at the clinic telling me that she  had just gotten my test results and was calling me an ambulance and that they were going to take me to the emergency room. She was, in fact, surprised I was even able to answer the phone, being on death's doorstep and all. I remember her saying something that a usual blood count was 17. Mine was at 4. I still have no idea what that means medically, but I know for a fact now, that it's not good. (Duh.)


So, blood transfusion. Check.  New nickname acquired (the Vampire). Check. Anemia repaired. Check.
Life goes on.


Until last month, when it all started again.With a new addition this time = mood swings of epic proportions. Groan.


As yet, I have avoided another transfusion, but the doctor and I have become besties. In fact, we exchanged  tokens of our new found friendship at my last appointment. I gave him my wallet and a promise of most of my future earnings, and he gave me a speculum. It was rad.

But...I am still tired. All day. Every day. I have no energy. I find  the simplest tasks of everyday life to be a  HUGE chore, let alone blog about it.
I am attempting to get this all straightened out.
Until then, I promise to do my best, post-wise.

I guess the moral of this story is that if you don't want me to have to open up the TMI files again, you better make sure to comment. A lot. *bats eyelashes*
 That may just be my HORMONES talking.
Even so. Comment, ok? My very health *cough cough cough* depends on it.

Guilt trip. CHECK.

All images courtesy of google images.


Friday

Practice what you...title your blog...?!?

I've been under the weather. As such, my blogging senses have not been finely tuned as of late.
Normally, my brain processes every minute of every day for blog topic possibility.
For the past week, my brain has not done that. What has happened instead is that my brain tells me that every minute of every day is completely boring and void of anything even remotely worth blogging about.

For Example:
Situation ==>Very elderly woman with purple lipstick completely covering her general mouth area, but none actually on her lips.
 Normal Katie reaction to that situation - HOT DIGGITY DOG! Where's my camera?
Under the Weather Katie reaction - What's for dinner?

Situation ===> Lunch with a friend at a casino buffet. (Which by the way, I believe is the single best place to go for some AMAZING people watching.)
Possible blogworthy item: Seeing a lady dump a plate full of food into a (hopefully) lined purse.
NK reaction - Mashed potatoes into a purse! Yahtzee! Where's my camera?
UWK reaction - What's for dinner?

As you can see, this state of mind wastes perfectly good blogging opportunites ( Um, No Missed opportunities, Kate! Geesh. Practice what you title your blog. Or something like that.), but it does make me realize that when I am under the weather I think alot about dinner.
That said, as much as I would like to blog about that wayward lipstick attempt, or about that incredibly disgusting way to steal food, the wind for those topics has left my sails.
I apologize for any bucket list I may be ruining by not writing about the previous topics. However, if reading about those topics are on your bucket list in the first place, you may want to reevaluate your existence.

Anyway, I am on the road to feeling better so you can be sure that those hard hitting stories will be back soon.
Now, I'm off to find a large purse to line to take on my next topic inspiring trip to the casino buffet, and to figure out what's for dinner.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...