Normally, I really like life.
Normally, I smile. I Laugh. I Engage with my fellow man.
Normally, I don’t feel like the world has let me down.
Today I feel just that.
A few days ago, I found out that a woman I once worked with passed away after a long battle with liver cancer. I had heard she was sick last year but never called her to tell her that I was thinking of her.
Why? What was I doing that was so important that I couldn't take a minute and just say hi? She would've called me every day if the tables were turned.
Even though we only worked together, she felt like a member of my family. Like the wonderful Aunt that you can trust with all your secrets. The one you can ask for advice and actually take it. The one who makes you feel loved even when you deserve it the least. That was Roxana.
Roxana was from Costa Rica and moved to Northern Michigan after meeting and marrying an American High School Spanish teacher. (Which in itself in another completely romantic love-story in itself)
I met her for the first time in 1999. I will never forget that meeting. She said, “My name is Roxana. I can tell by your smile that we are going to become very good friends.” She spoke English beautifully and her accent stayed in my head long after that conversation ended.
We did become very good friends. She was unlike any person I’d ever met in that she never had an unkind word to say to or about anyone. Ever. Even to those who certainly deserved it.
Her smile was beautiful and steadfast. Her laugh was infectious.
She was a hugger. A toucher. She believed in the importance of human connection. She always touched your arm or hand or shoulder as she spoke to you. She touched your heart long after.
There is so much about her that I love. There are so many lessons that she taught me. There are countless other things about her that deserve to be remembered here, but my heart is broken and my little words can never accomplish the task of honoring her life the way it deserves to be.
I find it hard to understand the world and the reason for the passing of the liveliest person I have ever met.
I've heard the sayings many times.
Life is not always fair.
Death is a part of life.
So horribly true.
By the way. I am looking for a new commenting system for this blog. I would love to be able to get back to each and every one of you that take the time to leave a comment here. I appreciate that you do. I am trying my best but I have been terrible at getting back to people (I'm looking at you especially, Ratz- Sorry). Please know that I do take the time to read each and every comment I get and as soon as I can find a better way to be able to respond to each one I will be implementing it here.