I can't help myself. You are just too damn funny.
I DO NOT share my blog-life with my husband if I can help it, but I have had to wake him from a heavily snoring sleep on several occasions to make him read one of your posts. His reaction? "Ghugh?" Which means he thinks it's funny too. I'm pretty sure.
The frickin' baby.
Anyhow, I have been wanting to nominate myself as your curmudgeon of the week for ages. However, I refrain from doing it because I don't feel as though I can ever meet the standards of some of the other true curmudgeons you have published.
- Is furious when people tell me to "smile" because "Jesus loves me". (Not that I have a problem with smiling or Jesus. I just don't like people telling me what to do.) Nope. Now I'm gonna frown more out of spite.
- Unfriends people on FB that make inspirational quotes their status updates. I do not need to hear uplifting words from the stoner that ate staples on a dare and dropped out of school in 10th grade. Or from anyone for that matter.
- Can hold a grudge FO-EH-VAH. (Rachel Brenna gave me head lice when she made me try on her ugly brown headband in 1st grade which was 25 years ago.
Oh my God. 25 years ago?!?She better hope we don't ever meet up in a dark alley. Also, screw her for making me realize that 1st grade was a quarter of a century ago.)
The other half could be described as a...
I am basically one of those generally happy an open minded people but I also sometimes lack a backbone.
That half of me:
- Strives for the approval of my mother in law at any cost. EVEN spending whole days with her without her son around to mediate our conversations. A dangerous situation for both her well being and mine. I do it though, because God forbid she doesn't think I piss glitter.
Just when it looks as if one side is about to win out over the other, the opposite side steps in and does something rash like:
I would very much like to be considered for your Curmudgeon of the week spotlight, even though I am not all curmudgeon. All the time.
Not that I have the audacity to ask you to make a special exception for me, but if I did have the audacity, I would probably come up with some categories that you could place me in if you were so inclined.
Good Girls Gone Bad-ish
Wholesome Midwesterner/Semi Badass
I'm just saying, is all.
Let me know what you think, ok Poopsiedoodlekins**?