Silent night. Lousy morning.

Last night, I was coughing and coughing and coughing and could not stop. Shortly after the coughing attack ended, I lost my voice (seemingly, a Christmas miracle to my husband) Try as I might, I could not get my vocal cords to form sounds. And boy did I try.

This morning, on my way to drop my son off at school, I decided to treat myself to a coffee from McDonald's (any size is $1. Great marketing.)
Now, separately these two occurrences would make for a pretty lame blog post, but put them together and POOF! Instant blog fodder.

So, we pull up in the drive through and I have my son give my order at the little microphone thingy,


My order was processed we were directed to the next window to pay and pick up the coffee.

At the window, I hand the lady my $1.06 and as I am doing so, I see through the window to the front counter. I am a little surprised that at 7am McDonald's is so busy. There are about 15 people standing at the counter.

The lady hands me my coffee, I mouth the words thank you and I pull the coffee through my window. As I pull the cup in, I hit the steering wheel with it, knocking the cup out of my hands and into my lap. Miraculously the lid stays on, but scalding hot coffee is leaking through the tiny hole in the lid directly into my lap.
So I scream "BALLLLLSAAAACK!!!" (as you do) and my voice is carried- as if on angels wings- through the open window, directly into the ears of the people standing at the counter who all turn and look at the crazy lady screaming private parts at the drive through window.

I wish that I would have chosen a cooler expletive, and I would have, if I'd only known that my voice would choose that exact moment to make its triumphant return.

Ahh Monday. That'll be enough out of you.

ps. My son was SUPER excited to find out that you could use words for body parts as a swear (an early Christmas gift for him).


  1. And apparently your early Christmas present for me is a very hearty laugh on a day when I really needed one. Thank you!!!

    (Oh, and ouch. FEEL BETTER! Top to, um, er, bottom.)

  2. Sorry...hope you don't mind...but I am CRYING that was so funny....

  3. Oh love, that was so funny but I do hope the burnt bits have recovered!

  4. I'm sorry you spilled the coffee and lost your voice, but screaming 'Ballsack' really solidifies that we could be good friends in real life. I also enjoy using colorful terms about body parts. Well played.

  5. Oh Katie you poor thing burning yourself, but oh how funny that was! Hope your son doesn't get any more swear words for Christmas.

  6. OMG, I love it!!! LOL

    I don't love that you burned yourself but the fact that your voice chose to return to you at that precise inappropriate moment. That's sooooooooooo something that would happen to me.

    Hope you don't scar emotionally or physically from the experience and that your voice returns to normal soon if it hasn't already.

  7. Ballsack? Really? Can't say I have ever used that one :) This is a great story. Made me laugh, although I do hope your lap has recovered.

  8. That's a new one for me! Ha! I've got 3 of them hanging out around my house, so you would think it would've crossed my mind by now. I can't imagine what you would've said if thew hole lid would've came off causing the whole cup of hot coffee to pour on your lap. Don't even want to think about it. :)

  9. HAHAHA omg i just laughed out loud at my office desk... ive been found out! everyone knows copy editing isnt hysterical... you know what is though... ballsacks! hehehehe

  10. Ballsack is a hilarious swear! I will do my best to use it at least once in 2011, Merry Christmas :)

  11. @whatsinemmasbrain _ once you start using it as a curse, it will be hard to stop. Since that day, I've said it like, nine times. Merry Christmas!

    @constar- ballsacks ARE pretty funny when used in that context. Hope you didn't get in trouble at work. Thank you for commenting and for visiting my blog. xx

    Kelley- if the lid had come off, I am pretty sure I would have said either 'testicles' or scrotum. I think.

  12. I laughed very hard at this. To the point I almost woke up my daughter. I loved it...oh and I hope your burn isn't painful anymore. I would hate to be laughing at your pain, but I probably still would a little,

  13. Hope you are feeling better. The cough and cold hit everyone in our house for Christmas. Bah! Still recovering.

  14. Oh. My. Word. No, not that word. I meant.... Nevermind.


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