No TV or Eyeball Herpes Avoided

My family doesn't  watch TV.

Thank you Google Images

Don't get me wrong, I am not  an anti-television hippie or anything. In fact, we don't watch because we all like the tube a little too much. We would sit and watch all day if we had it, getting up only to use the bathroom [if that] and to replenish our potato chips.
So, a few years back, the husband and I decided to disconnect the television- which completely sucked at first but is now no big deal.

As good as it is for my family, there are some cons to this TV-less existence.
For starters, At one point in my life, I was hopelessly addicted to a little television show called Lost. You may have heard of it? To watch it, I would drive 15 miles to my mother's house and  hijack her TV.  I don't think she liked the show at all, but she let me do it anyway. What a gal.

Another weird thing is when people find out we don't watch. There are a few common reactions.
1. {GASP} You don't watch TV?!? What do you do all day?

and

2. Well, good for you. (which sounds nice, but most of the time the 'good' is said with two syllables which makes this normally nice phrase sarcastic.)

and my personal favorite

3. But you do watch American Idol (or insert any currently hot program) though, right? RIGHT?

Also, my mother (see above) who has known for almost 4 years that we do not watch any form of TV, will still call me and say, "Did you just see the news story on Channel 9? I think that girl went to your school!"
and my answer, of course, is- Yep. Sure did. She graduated the year before me...

It's just easier that way.

Another thing is that I rarely know what people are talking about around the proverbial water cooler and regularly have to Google things like:

Is "the Situation" a person? 

answer: Yes, a STD riddled one at that.  

Is Mariah Carey pregnant?

answer: Isn't EVERYONE pregnant right now? {way to answer a question with another question, Google.}

Who is Bristol Palin and why should I care?

answer: nobody and you shouldn't.

Is Donald Trump still an insufferable ass hat?

answer: a million times YES.

Thank Goodness for Google.

It's  hard impossible, in fact I REFUSE to avoid TV when I spend time at a house that has *oh dear lord* Cable.

My standards weaken and spend many hours of wide eyed watching. Sucked in by shows I never knew existed.

Hoarders.

Say Yes to the Dress.
Cupcake Wars/Cake Boss/
What NOT to Wear

And some crazy couponing show where these amazingly weird and wonderful people buy 6 trillion dollars worth of groceries for $3.18. I believe this show is called  Hoarders on a Budget. Or possibly Hoarders with coupons, or even Hoarders with better money skills.

 It's like a crazy-horrifying-wonderful-scary-hilarious train wreck and I love it.

Katie + Crazy Coupon ladies = True love forever.

There are also perks that go along with this lifestyle.
1. I have never seen an episode of Jersey Shore. That right there is like, the best perk EVER. According to Google, just watching it can lead to herpes of the eyeballs. This could be a lie, but you know, better safe than sorry.

2. My son does not ask for toys he doesn't really want, but was told to want during commercials at Christmas time. I believe we have saved tens of thousands of dollars on Zhu Zhu Pets alone.


3.The boy is also an amazing reader and has a fabulous vocabulary. He is the actual writer of this blog.
TA DA!! 
Ok, so that was a fib, but seriously, the kid is smart and I know he didn't get that genetically. It HAS to be the no TV rule.

4. We read a lot. Before I found blogs, I would read about a 60 books a year. Which is pretty cool because I know people who haven't read 60 books in their whole life so I feel very  accomplished, comparatively.

5. My house is always hospital-standard clean! (those of you who know me in real life can just keep your comments on this one to yourself.)


So yeah. Life in Casa Opportunity may be TV-less but I'll  say it again.
I HAVE NEVER SEEN JERSEY SHORE.
You're welcome eyes. And brain cells. And stomach.

 So tell me -Do you watch?
Do you not?
What else do I need to Google?