Now I know why your kids are always in detention.

Ok folks, I am gonna drop something pretty heavy here. Are you ready?

How children listen and how parents follow directions are in direct correlation with each other. (Gasp)

 How do I know this?  I know because I have had to deal with rogue A-holes parents for the last 4 months when dropping my child off and picking him up from school.

Here are the instructions (pretty much word for word-since I was actually listening) given by the School Wishful thinker Principal:
When dropping off or picking up your kids, please do not enter the drive clearly marked FOR BUS USE ONLY. This clogs up the flow for the bus drivers and sends them off schedule. A seperate drive has been reserved for all car pick-ups. Enter this driveway where a single line of cars will form. Here you can drop off or pick up your child when you get to the marked area near the building. Please do not park and get out of your car to enter the school to retrieve your child as a special lot has also been reserved for this. I know if we all work together this will work very smoothly...

Seems simple. No?

Well, this is what rogue A-HOLE parents heard:
Blah blah dropping off or picking up your kids,
please enter the drive marked  FOR BUS USE ONLY.
 These signs declaring otherwise are only a suggestion and you may do whatever you need to do in order to make sure that you get home in time to catch the tail end of Oprah.
Blah blah Don't send hats or coats with your kids to school either, this IS Northern MICHIGAN and all -but really, if your kids get sick they will just build immunities for whatever they may catch the next time they are not appropriately dressed  for the weather.  Or the next time they lick their teacher. ( Yeah you - Bryson Miller.) You are actually doing them a favor.  Kudos on your fantastic parenting! Blah blah

Also, Even if there is a single file line of cars waiting please feel free honk your horn alot then to park your car right in the middle of it. While you are at it, why dont you : enter the school,visit your child's classroom, use the facilities, argue with the secretary about your truant son's latest unexcused absence, and basically stop traffic for everyone else. Those other parents time is not nearly as valuable as yours, so by all means, do as you wish. Blah blah if we all do this, you will be helping out not only your precious children but the entire school system. Blah.
I may have to hurt some people.


  1. I think they also hear "Blah blah there's no need for you to park your car where you and your child could get a little exercise by walking a whole extra 50-100 metres after all who cares about the childhood obesity problem right?"Blah Blah


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