As half of you know- (and I can officially say half of you, because I only have 2 readers and one of them is my mom)-I have never met my father. I use the term 'father' here pretty loosely and actually consider this man more my mothers CO-PROCREATOR than my father.
This situation (not having met my MC-P) has never been a big issue with me until I had a child of my own. I never really cared to meet him or to know anything about him. I do now. Badly.
Call it a search for who I am. Call it Morbid curiousity. Call it My wishfull thinking that I am heir to a vast fortune of some sort. The truth remains that the time to find him is now.
I didn't know I was going to officially start looking for him until I found myself typing his name into Facebooks friend locator. (Oh, and by the way Facebook management-may I suggest a M.I.A. PARENT application?? I swear other people would use it. Not just me. Ok. Maybe just me, but still.)
So-I pop in this guys name and hit enter. My search results end with one exact name match. At this point I am pretty excited becaus finding your long lost father 30 years later is usually a pretty labor intensive matter involving rigorously interviewing your mother about her personal life during the Carter administration, hiring private investigators, pouring over boxes of public records in musty basements of government buildings and drinking gallons of coffee. (or maybe I just watch too much t.v.).
Of course my next step is to visit this guys page right? Wrong. Flippin' privacy settings! My name-match-dad had thoroughly secured his profile so I didnt get to see what he looked like. I did however discover that name-match-dad does have what looked to be a small yellow puppy that is a good swimmer. At least thats what I surmised from his profile picture.
Deep breath. What to do? I opted on sending a private message which went something like:
Dear Guy,
Did you live in the Detroit area around 1978-1979?
Are you currently between 55 and 65 years of age?
Did you knock up a nice Catholic girl and then hit the road around this time?
(hah. just kidding mom. I remembered my manners. I used the word impregnate not the phrase knock up. I'm not an animal)
I mentioned that I was looking for a 'family friend" (ok, itty bitty lie-sue me.) that my family had lost touch with, assured this person that I was not a stalker and asked nicely for a reply. I'm not holding my breath.
Oh, and just a word of advice. I do not recommend typing the words "Finding your daddy" into googles search engine. Eww.
Hi Katie,
ReplyDeletethanks for visiting my blog and thanks for the laugh I got reading your blog in return - I so want to do that google search now! Good luck in your search.
Karen
Stalking would have been SO MUCH easier if you'd started a couple of months ago before Facebook changed their regional settings.
ReplyDeleteI was an avid stalker of The Bean's (my hubby) ex girlfriend, and I could have given you all the hints and insights. You'd be an avid stalker of her, too, if your man had dated someone that looked like her. I'm such a masochist. SIGH. Stupid Julie, and her stupid thin thighs, stupid tiny little waist, and stupid full, perky boobs.
Does possible bio-dad have any friends? You could maybe become friends with them out of the blue? You can click and see how many friends he has. If he has a lot then that'd be awesome!
You could also create a profile of a moderately attractive lady you pull off of google images? Befriend one of his friends, or several of his friends, and then ask to be his friend with no warning in between? He might just be embarrassed enough not to mention he doesn't know you and just click "yes" if Facebook says "You have 7 friends in common!"
For the record, I'm just bored enough that I'd be happy to do all this for you if you feel too weird.
Or you could just do the honest route like you did. That's probably the best, although not nearly as interesting for me, your reader :P
Thanks Becky. I may have to take this route. I always wanted to have an alter-ego. Now is my chance to use that fake name I have been saving for an occasion such as this. Trixibelle LaFleur. OH YEAH!! :)
ReplyDeletei totally can relate to this post. i was bitter and resentful in my teenaged years about the absentee papi. when i was an elemetary schooler i would call numbers from the local yellow pages. (Can you imagine how SAD it would be to answer the phone and have a child ask: "Are you my daddy?")Once I was an adult I was pretty oblivious except for the wondering about medical history. Then I had a kid and everything changed. I searched for years, but then one day it finally came together.
ReplyDelete