How to be a SPOCK tease

I want to be a better blogger.
 I dedicated this past weekend to looking for ways to make that happen, while avoiding the internet as much as possible. A very thorough search of my local library gave me these books.

See?  I told you I want to be a better blogger.

                                                 To be fair though, I also checked out these books:
Because I want to know how to use my future iPhone correctly

because I will read any book with the word Cleopatra in the title.  And, like I said, I didn't do any blog reading either.

But the BEST find of the weekend is this book that I purchased at Goodwill.

Believe your eyes.

This book raises some very important questions.

1. How could I NOT buy this book?

2. Why in the world would you donate this book to Goodwill? Wouldn't you want to keep it on hand as a reference that you could go back to regularly to sharpen your Anti-abduction skills? (too bad for you, donator!! It's mine now sucker!)

It cost me less than one dollar but the informations inside is priceless.
Also, it should be noted that this book is not meant to be comical. It is meant to be informative. It could save my EARTH LOVING life! I have not been able to put it down. I am learning:

Resistance techniques.
1. Mental struggle
2.Physical struggle
3.Righteous anger
4.Protective rage
5.Support from family members
7.Metaphysical methods
8.Appeal to spiritual personages


That's right. Alien Repellents.
Including but not limited to:

iron bars

Obviously I am riveted.
Would I be considered a tease If I go out looking for aliens only to use my newly learned skills to avoid actually being abducted?

Hopefully the book covers that.
Better blogging will just have to wait.
My apologies.


  1. Oh my Jesus Lord - The Alien Abduction book seems to be incredibly important. Please give me some tips on how to survive. I don't want to live on another planet!! Enjoy the read - I'm so jealous.

  2. I am soooo jealous. Please give us tips!!! Or I may just search on Amazon for that book!!!

  3. First off, smarty pants, how do you know you weren't already abducted when you were 4 and had a chip installed in your armpit that is downloading your DNA as you type? Eh? Secondly, I think the greatest repellent is having to read a chapter printed in white font on a dark background. Shudder.

  4. Maybe the last owner gave it to the Goodwill because the tips were rubbish and they were abducted? Or, maybe it was written by aliens and obviously the advice is useless and designed to lull you into a false sense of security.

    *Sigh* You are in so much trouble, lady.

  5. Jaysus! I want that book. Now!

  6. Did it say somewhere you could use the book to whack them over the head and scare them off that way?? Cos I reckon ya could!

    PS. Can I borrow your iphone book as hubby is getting me one for my birthday yaaaay for hubby.

  7. The only way to stop yourself from being abducted by aliens is to move from the USA. No European has EVER been abducted by aliens (our bums are too tight - we are impossible to examine). If you have to live in the USA wear a 7 ml wetsuit and keep it zipped tight.

  8. New follower here! I am addicted to books. I have gone to my library in the past and checked out writing books.

    I love Cleopatra! I am a history major and I just turned in a research paper about Cleopatra. I am a great defender of her reputation! I do not think she was the evil seductress a lot of historians say she was.

    I would love to know how you like the book "Cleopatra's Daughter", I may just have to read it.


Ooh! I love me some comments!

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