I can not ignore a certain national tragedy.
I was going to keep my opinion to myself but I just can't do it.
America's sweetheart has been cheated on.

Also, I read this hysterical post at Glen's life and I was motivated to put in my two cents.
I am going to drop my 'snow hating' hat and don my TEAM SANDRA tee shirt.

Jesse James has once again been thrust onto my radar. I do not like Jesse James on my radar. The radar is reserved for George Clooney, Clive Owen and Possibly Taylor Lautner if I am feeling especially cougar-like.
Jesse James.

 So, Jesse James, you had the NERVE to cheat on Sandy? (I sometimes call her that)

Oh, I can see why. Who would want to sleep with this swamp creature?

Are you kidding me?
I don't know. Maybe she is a horrible person to live with.
Maybe she plays "About Steve" on a constant loop on all the t.v.'s in the house.
Maybe when you drive anywhere with her, she never allows you to travel at less than 50 miles an hour.
Maybe she clips her toe nails on the couch and leavs the clippings on the coffee table.
Maybe she refers to motorcycles as pigs instead of HOGS.
If all of these were true, I guess that Jesse may have reason to look for love elsewhere.
They are not. So he doesn't

She is pretty much the most beautiful woman in America and her husband strayed. I am number 1,269,894,099 on the beautiful list this does not leave me feeling very good about myself.

It's not like she looks like this

Or worse, this

So, Mr. James.  What in the world could you possibly have been thinking?

Let's just for funzies say that I (kind of a nobody) was married to oh, let's just pick someone at randomGEORGECLOONEY.
Ok, Imagine I am married to George Clooney
sorry. Thats what happens when I pretend to be married to George Clooney. I'm better now. Promise.
If I were Mrs. Clooney do you think I would be out and about town looking for action with someone who looks like this?

(all photos curtesy of google images)
Absolutely not.

In fact, you would never see or hear from me again. Or him.
Not ever.

 I wouldn't even take the time to call my mom. Ever. 

We would be otherwise occupied...

I would be intelligent enough to appreciate my EPIC good luck and and NEVER look at another man as long as I live.

So...Jesse, off my radar! You are not welcome here- and if Sandy has the good sense that I am SURE she does, I hope she tells you the same thing.


  1. :-) Thanks.

    I have it on good authority that George is renowned for doing post coital ‘Dutch Ovens’ and that he refuses to believe the rumour that women can orgasm too. It’s an absolute truth that he uses his girlfriend’s toothbrush to scratch his Athletes foot, and keeps his toenail clippings in the salad section of the fridge.

    Whereas tattoo man isn’t called ‘The Human Rabbit’ for nothing.

    Those photos have reminded me why I love Sandra so much :-)

    And don't put yourself down, my calculator has you at only 1,269,893,091, I think you forgot about the earthquake.

  2. Dear Glen, I did not think it was humanly possible to NOT be attracted to George Clooney but If any of what you say were true...I may have to find someone else to be obsessed with.
    Quite honestly, your comment is better than my post. I should be miffed about this but can't be. I am laughing to hard.
    You rock.
    Brilliant. Hilarious.

  3. Glen's comment was very awesome. I'm almost intimidated to comment. You know I didn't even know Jesse James had cheated, I always wondered about that couple. It was one of those "why?" kind of couples...boggled the mind. What's with all the cheating?

  4. Jesse James is a dickhead. End of story...and the hooker he linked up ack. All these high profile affairs...sad. I used to like Tiger...change his name to Cheetah.

  5. I am so with you on this! How can anybody cheat on Sandra??? I love her and I am sure she is a nice person to live with.

  6. I am totally with you, who would cheat on Sandra Bullock?

  7. Wow, after reading this even I want to sleep with Sandra. And what's a dutch oven?! Must find out. And don't take Glen's word as authority. Test the whole George Clooney theory. You know, just for funzies (that's what I would do).

  8. Nothing to add except those Sandy photos are HAWT! And ooh, Jesse is a total jackhole. End of comment.

  9. Thank you so much for the comment over at Bloggest Loser. I really enjoy your blog & I love that you took tim eout of your day to check out my post. ;)

  10. Excuse me? I thought America's sweetheart was Julia Roberts?

  11. Ok Katie because you are my fav blogger and only because of that,I will take George off your hands if you really don't want him anymore. Cos that's what friends are for ! I know how much the whole toenail clipping thing would turn you off but I'd put up with it for your sake :-)

  12. Badger-Julia will be Americas sweetheart again just as soon as it is found out Danny Moder has been having an affair with some dreg of society.

    Karen- how very thoughtful. You are a true friend :)

  13. Frankly I can't believe the stupidity of the man, frankly he should be outlawed!! (oh hang on with a name like that he already is!)


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