Trying not to be persnickety...

So my mother accused me of being
"Amazingly judgemental"
 "highly nit-picky"
"HYPER Critical." 
All in relation to my last few blog posts.

To this I say, "You're damn right!"
 This is, after all my blog. Is it not?
"Give it a rest," she says, "blog about something else."
Always ruining my fun.
Soooo... I have decided that what I would do today is give you, dear reader, insight into my super fantastic-completely fabulous life.

  Please take a look at exhibit 1. Or, as I like to call it- My totally awesome plans for the  past weekend.

I managed to complete those super exciting weekend chores.

-Return Library books.
-Grocery Shopping.

I know. You didn't know you were reading the blog of a world famous jet-setter huh?
How did I do it all?
By avoiding doing the tasks not crossed off.

-Rent 'Just Friends' @ Family Video. &Return A's Movies.
Walk INTO the video store? Ugh. No thanks. And returning Hubby's movies? Nope. Late fee-Schmate fee.

-Call about getting the oven fixed.
Considering that it has probably been broken for 6 months and I JUST found out it was not working a couple of days ago leads me to believe that I don't have to be any big hurry to get the thing fixed.  Now, if the local pizza shop was broken, my family might notice. The oven? Not so much.

-Price laptops.
Ack. Pushing...all...those...buttons... 

-Go through toys to be donated.
No!  How about pick out the 2 toys we will be keeping and then call Goodwill to come get the rest. If I step on Lego Indiana Jones one more time...well...I don't know. I'll probably melt him down with a lighter to make an example out of him to all the other Lego people residing on my carpet.

-Ask Mom for the correct spelling of my 'dads' name.
I was going to bribe my mother with taco's in the hopes of getting some better info about this guy.
She didn't want any tacos.

 Talk to Julie about Frickin' stupid iPod.
Forgot. Even though it was RIGHT there. On the list.

As you can see though, it turns out that it is not possible for me to post a blog entry without judging people.
The very artistic stick person at the bottom of the page is a drawing I made of a woman I saw coming out of WALMART.
She was SUPER skinny and was wearing those big, ugly, furry boots that people who are not me can't seem to resist.
I know. How non-judgemental, right?

Actually, that list was a fake. Here is my REAL list.

You can see why I wanted to keep this quiet.
It's only a matter of time before the media is all over this story.

George Clooney has fallen in love with the way that I rollerskate to the song
 Wake Me Up Before You Go Go.
You can read more about our amazing  whirlwind love story in a upcoming issue of PEOPLE magazine. The working title for that piece is "Meet the Amazing REGULAR gal that tamed George Clooney."

My Victoria's Secret model body has nothing to do with it.

Now to find that fishing boat for my current husband.

He will be TOTALLY fine with the trade, by the way.


  1. So was this one of those fake memories inserted during your alien abduction? Just curious.

  2. Must have happened BEFORE I got the book.

  3. I LOVE your blog!! Thanks for coming to following me!! I'm now following you!! Looking forward to reading more!!

  4. Where do you see a thing that says Michigan on your blog? Does everyone have one?? I have been trying to find people from Michigan...

  5. Ahhh Katie priceless and hilarious all at once, no wonder us followers love your blog. I like what you've done with the new background too. But there is one thing ... I'm pretty sure I had dibs on George before you .... just sayin.

  6. Karen, thank you SO much for those kind words. Oh, also, my apologies about George. He couldn't help himself. Rollerskating is my secret weapon!

  7. Oooh, swishy new blog design. Very nice.

    Your to-do list is strikingly similar to mine. Dammit, he's having an affair.

  8. George Clooney just called me to cancel his lunch plans with me. Apparently he met some other chick with a model's body and a mercedes. I guess I will have to settle for shopping and martinis with Tom Ford.

  9. After you marry George can you guys invite me over? I'd soo love to do lunch. Just have your people call my people. Ciao!

  10. Haha, I laughed so hard, I think you may love George as much as I love Elvis, worrying thought. At least he's still alive, go get him tiger!

  11. So I just read through your entire first page of posts and can't tell you how much I laughed. Keep it up!


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