That feels better!

 I must be honest and tell you that I did not intend to take a 5 month break from the ol' blog, it kind of just happened that way.

 At first it was merely a time thing. In August, my son played "Charlie" in a community production of Willy Wonka. During that time, and the three months before, I lived and breathed Willy Wonka. I was running lines, singing songs, driving my little star to and from practices, and being an equal mixture of exceedingly proud of him and being exceedingly terrified for him. That last one will take a lot out of you. 

I was busy being mother/manager and no matter how much I wanted to write, when I came home at night, my brain was fried and I just couldn't bring myself to write like I wanted to. My best writing at the time were extensive "to do" lists for the following day that I physically had to make just to be able to shut my brain off long enough to sleep.

And if I am going to be very honest, something else happened about that time: I got incredibly frustrated with the blogging community. It seemed that blogging had changed from writing because I  love to write to blogging as a contest to see how popular I could get or how many sponsors I could acquire or how many followers I had collected on my side bar.  I hated that. I did not want to become that person.

Now, please don't get me wrong. If you are a blogger and you have 15 bazillion followers and the people at Pepsi have purchased you a private jet with your name emblazned on the side to take you to all of your bloggy speaking arrangements so that you can tell other people how blogging has changed your life, that is AMAZING and I admire you for your fabulous writing and content as well as your superior marketing prowess. There is nothing wrong with that.

What felt wrong to me was that I would get online and visit my favorite blogs and instead of coming away inspired or happy or whatever good emotion  I had felt before, I instead leave, thinking to myself, "what in the WORLD am I doing wrong!? All of these people are getting 50 billion page views a day and making enough money to support themselves just by writing! I am CLEARLY doing something wrong."
 I must suck as a writer.
 I SUCK as a writer.
And so on.
 That is my long winded blogging boohoo story. I made the mistake of comparing my writing to others. The mistake of comparing my blog to other blogs. I lost interest playing that game. Thankfully, I had Willy Wonka as an excuse to distance myself for a while. One month became two, which became five. I took that time to think about what I really wanted.  I also realized that blogging is not a competition. Not for me, anyway. Not unless I choose to compare myself to others. I write because I love to write. I write because my favorite teacher once made this comment on a story I'd written : 
Katie, this story was a joy to read! I can tell you love to write. Keep it up!
I think I will.


  1. Not that I've been waiting for this....

  2. Having now read.....

    Couldn't agree more. We all would like to be successful and have loads of cash coming in - of course we would - but when that is the only focus then something is lost. i always get frustrated when I look on blogs and they are getting 50 thousand comments etc but i can't see why.. some writers are brilliant and you understand straight away why they are popular - but others...

    I flatter myself hugely when i say that I think you are a bit like me. quality. funny. clever. open. undervalued and under-read.

    I had a bit of a turn last year, when I lost all faith and almost stopped. when I realised that I couldn't beat the system and just had to get over it and write simply because i like writing and love just occasionally being read, I got over it.
    Because you want to.
    Afetr that - everything's a bonus.

    ps - don't leave it so long till the next one ;-)

  3. I almost left blogging for the same reason. I was sad that I didn't have the gazillion readers, private jet or even anyone sending me free crap. Probably crap that I didn't really want and would never endorse anyway, but still. Finally I just went back to writing for the reasons I wanted to write. I wanted to start a blog so that I had a place to write my drivel, all the words that bounce around my that's what I do now. I also realize the readers I do have that interact with me on Twitter, My Blog, Their Blogs, FB...those are the only readers I'd really want anyone. Good ones.

  4. This is my two cents:
    FIRST, I have missed you! SECOND, it is VERY difficult not to get swept up in the whole "why does she have a zillion followers when my stuff is TWICE as good as hers and I only have 80 people following me?" And then I realized I am FIFTY-ONE, Dammit! Why am I STILL comparing myself to other people? Is this fricking MIDDLE SCHOOL? No. I write because it's fun. I write because I like the people to whom I subscribe. I write because if I didn't, I'd just be talking to myself. And it kepps me from drinking myself inot oblivion. (Just kidding about that last one. Sort of.) Anyway, like they said to Kotter: welcome back.

  5. Welcome back! I do know what you mean about the whole blogger popularity contest, although I think part of me actually likes only having 10 followers, because I feel less self-conscious about what I post.

    Good to have you back anyway, I'm looking forward to your posts! xx

  6. Yay, you're back!!! I've missed you.

    I used to struggle with my place in the blog world too. I'd always do the comparison thing and my blog/writing never seemed to match up. But then one day I realized that I had followers and people who regularly commented and decided that was all I needed.

  7. Hurrah! Lovely to see you back again. 5 months off sounds like quite a good idea actually.

  8. I've been anxiously awaiting for your return! I'll let it slide that you didn't tell me. Let me know if you need some inspiration...we can go back and show those bitches how we roll......Better known as screwing around in swim class.


  9. I've nominated you for an award on my blog :)

    Hope you're having a good weekend.


  10. I just came here from "Distraction TIme" and I know how you feel. I have phases like that but to be honest, I am happy with what I have got. I hope you carry on though because I love this blog.

  11. Welcome back favorite blogger of mine! I've missed your blog, even though I confess I have not been a regular checker of blogs of late, life has just got in the way. I find I follow heaps of blogs that I don't actually get around to reading, but when I do get around to checking out those I am following yours is always the first one I check to see if there is a new post. I love the way you write and your sense of humour, if you lived in Melbourne we would definitely be friends :-)

  12. Katie: Nice Job. Welcome back. And remember that, even though the day is discouraging, there's another one coming tomorrow. :)


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